Rebecca Ferdinand, wife to former Man U and England
star player Rio Ferdinand passed away in May 2015 after a brief battle with
breast cancer and the footballer has now revealed in a new interview how her
death made him wonder if he'll ever be able to feel happy again or be able to
take care of his three children - aged 10, 8 and 5.
Ferdinand won so many titles while with Manchester United, but
sadly admitted that even champions like him find it hard surviving when life
decides to throw a blow towards them as it took a long time before he decided
to seek professional help
Speaking to Radio 5Live, Ferdinand, 38, revealed: 'It was six weeks from going into hospital and then Rebecca passing. You can't prepare. A lot of the problems I had after, I hadn't prepared to be in this position, as to what I tell the children.
'I didn't know how to carry on with the children. We couldn't have those
conversations because it became so aggressive at a certain point.'
I’m sitting there thinking how can I ever be happy. I’m happy over here,
but I look at my children and that brings me back to sadness again.
'I was ignorant myself, I was thinking no way am I going to go see a
shrink. On this journey, I got a great understanding that there are some
fantastic people out there who help.'
Speaking about suicidal thoughts, he said:
'I didn't think about it myself but I understand people who get into
that situation.Before I'd think that guy is so ignorant and selfish. Now I
wouldn't do it but I understand why he's there.'
Ferdinand admitted he had some difficulties in explaining their mother's
death to his children.
'It's a bad place to be when you're worried about your children's
fears,' he continued. I didn't know any techniques to speak to the
children, I didn't know what buttons to push. I'd been starting conversations
with them to get the feelings down. They were able to shut down and walk away.'
But Ferdinand discovered a technique he had picked up on through
counselling:
'We came up with the memory jar. One of the girls said she had a memory
jar. They wrote down memories all the time of their mum. I thought that was a
good idea.
'Once I introduced it it opened everything up. It was a beautiful
moment, to see them speak positively about their mum. It had been very sad, negative
moments talking about their mum. It turned it from dark to bright.'
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